


Wishing On A Comet

by AU_Queen



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Ding, Fairy Tale Logic, Fluff, Human Perry, I had trouble with this one so it's not the best, M/M, Wishing, blue fairy deus ex machina, but it starts out as plati-perry, slight angst, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 18:31:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14816627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AU_Queen/pseuds/AU_Queen
Summary: Perry wishes to be human. He never would've expected anyone to hear him.





	Wishing On A Comet

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Pride month, gays. I mean guys.

He’s sitting quietly on the windowsill. Of course it's quietly, he's just a platypus and they don't really do much. But the quiet hides the whirlwind of thoughts going on in his head. For years now, Perry has had to sit by as his boys go through their life. Never once interfering or interacting in the way he'd really like to. Sometimes he thinks he'd give most anything just to have a singular day with them. A singular day where he's not just a platypus, a pet, but a friend. Someone who is able to be there for them and help them with whatever crazy task they put their minds to. It was one of his deepest wishes, and it was all he could think about that night. The twinkling of the stars somehow made it better. They were like him, sitting up there quietly watching but never able to interact. If only they could hear him. With a sigh he jumped down to join Ferb in his bed.

When he left, he missed the twinkle of a star as it fell.

 

The next morning Perry woke up alone. It wasn’t that odd, Ferb often left before he awoke. A yawn escaped him. He stretched and blearily opened his eyes. Closed them again. Sleep still filled his limbs and he floated in a half-awake state for a few minutes. Then he stretched again, his toes and fingers going the full body stretch. 

His eyes flew open, all tiredness drained out of him immediately. Fingers and toes? He was certain he never had those. Panic started to well up, but then he remembered who his nemesis was. All panic he had drained out of him quickly. In four years of fighting Heinz many weird things had happened to him. That’s probably all that was going on. So there was no need to worry. Though he did wonder why Heinz had started so early and why the OWCA hadn’t called him in. Those thoughts dominated until he realized that this is exactly what he had wanted. He watched his hands, the skin tanned and palms calloused. Moved his fingers. He was human. Now he could finally spend time with the boys as one of them instead of the family pet. A smile spread on his face.

This was exactly what he wanted.

Happily he climbed out of bed, only half paying attention to the fact that the bed wasn’t in Phineas and Ferb’s room, or any room he even recognized.

“Morning Uncle Perry!" Phineas smiled at him when he reached the kitchen. Something in him told him that it was strange, Phineas calling him 'Uncle' Perry. He studiously ignored that feeling. Instead, he nodded at him in response. Perry would say something, but he wasn't sure his vocal chords would actually work and he didn't want to risk it.

Now food, he could risk. He's eaten with Heinz enough to know he should be able to get away with eating just about anything. So he grabbed what is possibly the sugariest cereal they have and poured himself a bowl.

Then he sat silently, attentively listening to Phineas as he made Ferb and his plans for the day.

"Do you want to help?" Phineas asked him and Perry nodded with a smile. Yes, he would love to help them. That's when his watch went off. "Work?" Phineas asked. He looked sad when he asked the question. Like he already knew the answer. As if this happened all the time. Perry's smile turned apologetic. "Maybe next time?" the words were hopeful. Perry nodded. It got him a smile, but it was still sad. Disappointed. It made him think that Phineas was used to this very conversation. That didn't sit well with him. But he got up from the table and placed his bowl in the sink before he left through the backdoor anyway.

It didn't take him long to find the entrance to his lair, but he did worry about whether or not he would fit. It was made for a platypus. He was no longer a platypus. Yet he did fit. Strangely enough.

"Ah, there you are Agent P!" Major Monogram started, but Perry blocked the rest out. It wasn't like he didn't know what he would say. Heinz had a new -Inator and he had to destroy it. This was the same song and dance they'd done for years. "Go and get him, Agent P!" Perry saluted, then was off.

He jumped into his hovercar. For a split second he realized he wouldn't fit. But then he did. He fit inside the car, not like when he was Candace-he actually fit. This day was getting weird. But again he pushed it to the side in favour of focusing on the road.

~Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated~

“Perry the Platypus, how-” Heinz cut himself off when he realized a human stood in front of him. A human that wore Perry’s hat and had teal hair, “How unexpected.”

Perry only chattered as the cage fell on him. Jerked in surprise when he didn't fit.

"You're human," Heinz stated slowly. Surprise was written on his features. Perry chattered angrily. The cage wasn't comfortable like this. "Oh, oh! Sorry." Heinz rushed to get the cage off of him as Perry's predicament was brought to his attention.

“If I had known you would be human, I would've gotten the bigger trap. Why are you human?” Heinz asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

He shrugged in response. Then his brain caught up with him. “Wait. You didn’t do this?” Perry’s hands flew without him really thinking about it, forming the words.

“No,” Heinz frowned.

“You understand me?” 

“Sure, I took sign in college,” Heinz smiled.

Perry hummed, the noise similar to his chatter. “But why am I human?”

“I don’t know,” Heinz shrugged before he jokingly added “Have you made any wishes recently?”

That caused Perry to pause. He did. Last night while watching the stars. Suddenly the strange room and the ‘Uncle Perry’ thing came back to him. What if? But it couldn’t- 

“You did, didn’t you?” Heinz examined him before he sighed loudly, “Oh, come on! I wished on so many stars when I was a child in Drusselstein and nothing ever happened.” He crossed his arms and pouted. Perry rolled his eyes.

“So how long do you think it’ll last?” Heinz asked.

Perry shrugged. He had no clue how long it would last. Heck, he didn't even know when it happened. Or how. As he thought about other inconsistencies came to mind.  Everything seemed to fit him. His lair entrance, his vehicle, the only thing that didn't was Heinz' trap. No one questioned his sudden species change. Not even Major Monogram. The only person who did was Heinz.

He asked Heinz about this.

"I don't know," Heinz said, but he didn't seem too bothered by it, "We should go somewhere."

Perry glared, part in confusion and part in exasperation. He was human apparently because of a wish, and Heinz wanted to go out?

"What? You don't look a gift horse in the mouth, so I've been told. Whatever that means," Heinz walked to his door, "What I'm saying is, we should take this opportunity to hang out more instead of just fighting." Heinz was already outside the door and walking away before he turned back. "Are you coming, Perry the Platypus?"

With a sigh, Perry followed. Heinz did have a point. He was human, so why should he waste it by fighting. Plus, it wasn't like this was the first time he'd ever let Heinz take him somewhere.

"That's the spirit!" Heinz raised a fist into the air with a smile. Perry rolled his eyes in amusement as Heinz turned to continue his walk out of the building. Despite himself, Perry also found himself rather excited. This wasn't what he had expected to do if he was human. (Even if it was probably exactly what he should have expected.) But he found himself not caring. If he had time, he could still spend it with the boys. But right now was his time with Heinz.

And he'd be lying if he said he didn't appreciate this time.

They walked to the park, Heinz filling the air with his one-sided conversation. Perry made sure to give him a wide berth as he spoke enthusiastically with both hands. Only part of his focus was on the other man, the rest was on their surroundings. Whenever he went to the park, his gaze was limited more toward the ground. Now that he was human, albeit a short human if the people around them was anything to go on, his view was changed. It may not have been that significant of a change, but it was still a change. And Perry loved it. He was a platypus that grew to love change. Heinz helped a lot with that, as everyday with the man was different.

"Perry? Perry the Platypus? Are you listening?" Heinz had stopped without Perry's notice, and was now watching him with his hands on his hips and an annoyed expression that didn't actually look that annoyed.

With an awkward smile, Perry shook his head no.

Heinz gave a long suffering sigh-a sound only Perry should be able to make when it came to the both of them- and repeated himself, "I asked what kind of icecream you wanted. There's a truck over there and I wanted to get some. Yeesh, Perry the Platypus. And people say /I/ don't listen." Perry rolled his eyes before he signed his order to Heinz so the other man could translate for him.

"Two doonkleberry ice creams," Heinz told the man in the truck.

He made them and handed them back before speaking, "Two doonkleberry ice creams for you and your boyfriend, that'll be two fifty."

Heinz payed before he registered the man's wording. He spluttered and turned to Perry, who had immediately noticed and was already a bright red. "He's not my, we're not," he spoke, louder then necessary as he fumbled with his words.

"Oh," the man's eyes got wide and his lips drew back as he sucked in air through his teeth, "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to assume."

"It- it's fine," Heinz replied. They continued on their walk after that, both men not looking at the other. Heinz was a ball of nervous energy. He didn't think his crush on Perry was so obvious that even a stranger would be able to pick up on it. But obviously it was. Which meant that Perry would find out, and when he did he would probably leave. Because that’s what the people he loved did. Left him. His mind continued to ramble on like that, cut off only when he felt a warm hand encompass his own. In surprise he stopped walking, which also made Perry pause in his own steps. He looked down, where Perry’s hand held his own. Blinked in surprise at it. Looked between their joined hands and his nemesis. “Uh?”

Perry gave him a questioning look, as if to ask if it was okay. Heinz just swallowed harshly and nodded, for once not fully trusting his voice to not squeak. His nemesis smiled at him and if the heat that had overwhelmed Heinz’s face when Perry had taken his hand wasn’t noticeable before, it certainly was now.

 

The rest of the day went by quickly. Heinz talked, and Perry listened as they strode around town. Their hands never disconnected. Any dirty look they received (there weren’t many, Danville was a very accepting town, but there was still one or two) was met by a fierce glare from Perry that immediately shut the person down before Heinz could notice it. Eventually they did end up back where they had started. Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.

“Do you have to go home yet?” Heinz asked Perry quietly and Perry nodded. “Yeah, I thought so.” His mind wandered a bit, thinking about their day. It had been so nice. “We should do that again sometime.” Again, Perry nodded. Then a thought seemed to light up Perry’s eyes.

“ _ I’m probably turning back tonight.” _

“What makes you say that?” Heinz frowned at him in confusion.

“ _ Fairy tales. The spell always wears off at midnight _ ,” Perry signed, with a look like Heinz had to be crazy. How could he not know fairy tales? (He did. Of course he did, he did have a little girl at one point in his life.)

“Oh, that's right. You're a platypus,” Heinz said the words slowly, like he was still processing them as they left his mouth.

Perry leveled Heinz with an incredulous stare, “ _ It's only been a day and you already forgot that?” _

“No,” Heinz looked away and bit his lip, “it's just that you've always seemed so painfully  _ human  _ to me. It's hard to think of you as a platypus.”

Perry blinked up at him for a minute, just letting himself take that in. He sighed and reached up to pull Heinz’ chin down so he could softly kiss him.

“I don't want you to go,” Heinz whispered against his mouth looked into brown eyes full of sadness. Perry leaned away enough for Heinz to read his movement. His fist moved in a slow circle against his chest, a motion so small yet appeared so painful.  _ I'm sorry. _

“It's okay, Perry the Platypus,” Heinz whispered to Perry’s retreating back.

 

Everyone was already in bed when Perry had returned to the house, so he entered quietly. The stairs barely squeaked as he walked up them to his soon-to-be-gone room. A dejected sigh left him as he sat on the warm bed. His eyes closed and he finally let the thoughts and emotions from his day full wash over him. It had been a good day. If he said he hadn’t liked Heinz- truly  _ liked _ him in a dating kind of way- before all this he would’ve been lying. Now, after a day like that it was worse. It had given him a taste of what could be between the doctor and him. He didn’t want it gone.

But not only had he gotten a taste of that, he’d also gotten a taste of being something more to his family. Not just a pet, but someone they could come to for help with homework and building projects. ‘Uncle Perry’ they had called him. He liked that. He  _ really _ didn’t want it gone.

“It doesn’t have to be, you know.” A soft voice that reminded him of a bell, whispered. He opened his eyes in surprise. There, in the middle of his room stood a blonde woman. She had a baby blue dress on, with slightly darker blue wings fanning from her back. In her hand was a small silver rod that sparkled like it had magic.

Perry frowned hard at her. His body instinctively went into a defensive position. If she wanted trouble, she would get trouble. Even if he doubted he could really do anything to her. How could he, since she seemed to just appear in his bedroom like some kind of- Like some kind of-

“Fairy?” She asked, humour lifting her voice and her lip curled upwards in amusement. Perry glared at the woman even as his heart soared.  _ A fairy _ . “And not just any fairy, the Blue Fairy. The one that made this happen.”

He looked down at himself, then around his room in surprise. For some reason, he believed her. “ _ What now? _ ”

“Now I ask you a question.” She told him, and he tilted his head in invitation, “Do you want to stay like this? It wouldn’t be hard to change the memories permanently-” Perry grew worried at that, but she was quick to reassure him, “It won’t hurt them or anything, it’ll be just like today. They’ll see you as their dad’s adopted brother who works often, but loves his family. Your coworkers will still see you as just another agent. So, do you want that?”

He thought for a minute. It seemed good. Better than good, great. But there was one thing, “ _ What about Heinz? _ ”

“Oh, him, don’t worry. Just like today, he’ll be the only one to know the truth. He’ll remember everything. Including today.” With those words, Perry nodded. He would do this. For once, he would get what he wanted. His family  _ would _ know him as Uncle Perry. He  _ would  _ help them with homework and building projects. And maybe he could even have Heinz.

The last thing he remembers before falling to sleep is being hit hard on the head with the wand. Blue sparkles glittered around him, and he had the faint thought that while he appreciated it, he wished she had taken a different approach.

 

A knock at his front door woke Heinz up the next morning. He answered the door, still in last night's clothes since he hadn’t changed before falling into his bed. A yawn widened his mouth when the door swung open. His mouth remained open as he stared in surprise at the teal haired man that stood in his doorway. Slowly, his mouth closed and his brain came back online.

"Perry the Platypus. You're still human?" Heinz frowned at him in his confusion. When Perry nodded happily, his mouth broke into a smile. “But how?”

“ _ Fairy tale logic _ .” The words were signed to him, and though he didn’t fully understand them they made his heart warm.

When Heinz let Perry into his apartment that day, it wasn’t to the sight of an -Inator. It wasn’t so the agent could foil his plans, destroy his machine, and save the Tri-State area. No, it was so that they could sit on the couch, curled together, and watch Perry’s soaps while eating popcorn and pretending not to cry.


End file.
